“I never thought it would happen to me.”

At least that’s what I have told myself in the past. After the “unthinkable” happening more than once, I’m starting to think that my thought capacity might be choosing not to see all the possibilities in reality.

It’s okay. Isaiah 55:9 tells us that “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are [God’s] ways higher than [our] ways and [God’s] thoughts than [our] thoughts”.

God completely changes my life, and I am so glad God’s ideas are better than my own. God blessed with a husband who is a better fit for me than anything I could have dreamed up on my own. When we prayed for a dog, Michael wanted an English Bulldog, I wanted a Boxer, and we were blessed with Molly, a little Corgi-mix puppy from a local shelter who has been perfect for us!

I was blessed with a wonderful osteopathic teacher and mentor in medical school who advised me to take a Cranial Course whenever I was able to do so. Several years later, I was finally blessed with a chance to go to a beginner’s Cranial Course in February. This happened to be a crucial time in my life and training. I was becoming burned out and tired with my career and training as a family medicine resident. A week long course in Albuquerque rejuvenated me and reminded me why I went into medicine. I met wonderful colleagues and instructors that were so very encouraging and uplifting. I felt my calling to pursue a fellowship and training in NeuroMuscular Medicine. So when I was invited to attend a weekend course in Great Barrington, MA, we said yes. In fact, Michael and I took a week vacation to explore the fellowships in New England while we were already halfway across the country.

We weren’t quite sure how all of this fit together. We just felt God calling us and a need to follow and be obedient wherever God brought us.

Then I received a phone call. Due to budget cuts, withdrawal of corporate backing, and whatever other reasons, my residency program in Oklahoma was closing. My colleagues and I had ten weeks to find another program that was able to take another resident, pack up our homes, and move to another place so that we could finish our three year training as Family Medicine Physicians. It was a residency nightmare. It was an ultimate form of rejection being told  that “you’re not worth fighting for” and “you’re not worth keeping”. Not to mention our patients! I have been blessed with such wonderful patients whom I care for and love. In the past two years, my patients and I have had so many journeys together of overcoming cancer or depression, of surviving a heart attack or stroke, of that new diagnosis of a lifelong illness and learning lifestyle changes, or finally being able to manage that diagnosis of diabetes, hypertension, back pain, or anguish of mental illness. We were told that nine of us resident physicians were easily replaceable by one nurse practitioner for medicaid patients, and that somehow, our small community already with a shortage of primary care doctors would easily be able to absorb our patients losing their doctors.

Sigh. I thanked the caller. It wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t her decision. She was as heart broken and tearful as the rest of us. I looked out the car window at the beautiful trees in Maine. We were driving from one fellowship interview to the next and just realizing that I no longer had a plan of finishing residency training to be able to start fellowship training in a year.

We had been reassured from the time we interviewed with our residency program to when we received a new program director to every moment that our program felt the slightest unstable, that everything was fine. Residency programs rarely close. It would never happen to us.

This situation reminded me of Psalms 20:7.

            Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.

Even though this was a sudden change and a loss, as I finished my time in Maine and Massachusetts, I felt a great peace that this was an answer to a prayer and an opportunity given by God.

Two days later, I received another phone call. It was the first fellowship program that I interviewed with in Bangor, Maine. They had a full family medicine program, but hearing of my loss of program, they wanted to make a spot available just for me in my situation.

Our adventure made sense. God was bringing us to Maine for a new adventure. In fact, God was bringing us a whole year sooner than we expected! God’s hand has been evident in this entire process as we prepare for our new adventure in Maine.

There have been a lot of sudden changes and life impacting decisions, but it is a blessing of opportunity similar to Aesop’s fable of the Rook and the rocks.

Once upon a time, there was a little rook who was thirsty. The little rook came across a pitcher of water, but the water was too low for the rook to easily take a drink of water without falling into the pitcher. The little rook, being a clever little bird, picked up a small rock and dropped it into the pitcher of water. The water rose ever so slightly. The little rook picked up another small rock and dropped it into the pitcher of water. And another, and another, one step at a time until the water level rose high enough for the little rook to safely take a drink after all of the little rook’s hard work.

This story reminds me to acknowledge the problem, but focus on the solution. The solution may not be quick and easy, but many little steps. Remember to take one step at a time. Let us be wise and clever, like the rook, to be thankful for each and every little rock and opportunity that God blesses to our use.